two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
