I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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