and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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