I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she pinky promised me she was 18
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
