You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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