you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
