I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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