I skipped work to stalk him.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
