Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize