I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
