They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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