I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
