you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
