yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
