so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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