Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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