Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
