If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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