Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
