Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
