new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
my poor anus
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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