I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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