ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
do herpes really smell.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
