Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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