I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize