i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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