So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
