Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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