HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
