Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
