I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
