Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
