My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
be right there i have to get my cape
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize