she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
