My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
