it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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