ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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