Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
