Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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