I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
