He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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