if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
