Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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