South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
