He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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