I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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