About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
