If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize