pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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