theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
