Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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