what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
