Fuck appropriateness.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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