Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
