I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
