im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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