So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
