How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
