The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
